3 WEEKS (AND INNUMERABLE AMOUNTS OF STRESS) LEFT

Now I know it's been a long time since I have found the time to get on here, and write a post for you... It's not that you're not important (because you are), and it's not that I don't have time (because I could find it if I put my mind to it), and it's not that I haven't wanted to (because I have).

Really, when it comes down to it, I haven't posted because I've been lazy. Just downright lazy. Sometimes I think I'm trying to do so much to make things ''good'' and ''right'' I forget to do them with you... And as much as they may seem the same, with and for don't quite come across as the same things to you.

Like the personal training... Now I'm glad I did it. Feeling fitter, better about myself, and a whole bunch of other benefits that I'm so glad to see. But as you may (or may not) have pointed out (diplomatically, of course), I might have been something akin to a right twat while i was complaining that you, in your insignificant pregnant state (sarcasm, just in case it's less than obvious), wouldn''t possibly be able to comprehend the exhaustion that I was experiencing, you were good enough to just sigh deeply, and let me waffle a little longer.

I also know that recently, with a second job, and my favourite of all activities, painting..... yeah, right.... I may have not always been the most cheery, welcoming, nice, kind, easy going, patient, husband. I do however want to say that I appreciate, more than you will know, how much you have to put up with from me. I don''t know, nor do I ever want to, what it is like to carry a 9 pound bowling ball under my shirt (and unless in desperation, and stupidity, I decide to rob a bowling alley one day (although why I would take a bowling ball and not the cash...well...), I hope to never have to).

You are my rock, my Peter as you may put it. I appreciate, and respect you, much more than I probably will ever say, seeing as my memory is... shall we say s#$%? I just wanted to write you this to say I know you're a bit worried, very tired, not looking forward to finishing work, and a whole bunch of things that I don't understand at all, but you're still my stunning, level headed, dedicated wife, and I'm here for you (whether you like it or not).

I hope you get a chance to read this, because in the end, I''m not a great writer, but I like to write to you.

Always yours

Your Husband

After a small Hiatus... (or awwwww, it's Valentines Day)

So, I'm back......

I won't tell you I'm only writing this again because I have so little to do at work, the prospect of beating my head against the closest hard item sounds like the most intellectually stimulating thing I will do today....

Because obviously I am only back on here and writing is because of the deep emotional bond that we have, and the fact that it's valentines day I love you dearly......

So, what have we been up to???

I count 18 months, a new house, a small horse, and more challenges than I can (or should) poke a stick at.... You know that whole thing about not poking a sleeping bear/dog, whatever.....

So it's been a while, and I would like to start with a sincere apology to you, my wife, for neglecting my blogging responsibilities, and for seeming like I may have dropped off the face of the e-world.

Sometimes, I must admit, I find you a little frustrating...... I mean, I was sure that all of the ultra irritating things I do were just meant to be part of your punishment reward for marrying me. I could have sworn that was what the for better or worse was meant to be about in the vows, right? Your better and my worse? Although in retrospect, I think I may have possibly got that one a little wrong.

In all seriousness though, I don't know how you do it.... Now I have a rather unique perspective on how..."challenging" I can be sometimes. You know, me being me and all. And I do, on the odd occasion when I have mental clarity, realise quite how much you have to put up with. And I appreciate it.

I've been thinking lately about where we go from here. Someone told me the other day that it was nice that I hadn't 'given up' on doing nice things for my wife, and I thought... do I really want to get to the point of giving up on that?... Just to confirm, I did decide that wasn't something I wanted to give up on.

So I've made a decision, and one that it may be a good idea if you were aware of... I have decided to try and live closer to that honeymoon period, when things were a little more carefree and 'fun'. 'We', and by we I mean we, should be able to act like kids, at least until we have them, a little more. So, I solemnly promise to fail miserably a whole lot at making that happen, in the hope that I will sometimes, in between the irritation I cause, cause just a little bit of that fun, happiness, and that smile that I remember so well from the 7th of August 2009.....

Happy Valentines Day

Your Husband